Cath Edvalson
Last weekend, my husband and I were taking a converti-ride in his 1966 Mustang.
Photo by my niece, Olivia Rose Edvalson
It was a beautiful day, I was really needing to get out of the house, and a ride through the beautiful southern New Hampshire countryside with my handsome man in his hot red classic sports car was just the pick-me-up I needed.
Six weeks post rotator cuff surgery had taken its toll. I was still in a great deal of pain, tired of the most ordinary tasks taking so much time and energy to complete, and utterly sick to death of TV and even the books I was reading. I was frustrated by the lack of control in my life—from big things like not being able to drive or cook or write, to little things like the difficulty in brushing my teeth thoroughly, one-handed hair styling, and having to ask my husband to cut my meat at dinner.
Or you know, sleep in my bed. I haven’t slept in my bed since the day before my surgery. I’m still in a love-seat in my office propped up by pillows.
A 20-minute walk still exhausts me.
So, with the sun on my skin, the wind in my hair, and the sky opening up bigger and bigger with each rev of the engine, I breathed in the summer-sweet smell of the newly-cut fields of grass I love so much and turned my thoughts away from the pain and frustration that recovering from surgery of this magnitude always brings.
Now, I don’t know if you are aware of this or not, but when you drive around in a classic car such as this one, the only thing that can be playing on the radio is classic rock. You know, like the Beatles, the Doors, or the Rolling Stones. We were happily on our way, having stopped at the nearby Farmers’ Market for some fresh veggies from our favorite local farm and a piece of blueberry crumb coffee cake for the road from the Pastry Lady when this song by the Byrds came over the AM radio waves:
To everything – turn, turn, turn
There is a season – turn, turn, turn
And a time for every purpose under heaven
A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep
Etc. etc. etc. You know the song, right? It’s from the Book of Ecclesiastes in the Bible, and it really hit home.
Now, I think those who know me well know that I am an extraordinarily grateful person. I am always aware of and thankful for the many blessings in my life. Indeed, throughout this entire ordeal I have taken inventory of the things that have been difficult, countered them by the advantages that I have been afforded, and been respectful of the progress I have been able to make.
And yet.
It seems to continue to be my difficult season.
Turn, turn, turn.
I was unable to attend CHA Winter because I was in so much pain then, and as luck would have it, the timing of my surgery has made it impossible for me to attend CHA Summer now. I am simply not well enough to go.
Turn, turn, turn.
The greatest difficulty for me has been to accept that this is my current fate, I have absolutely no control over just about anything in my life (which begs the question, do we ever?), and that that absolutely needs to be OK.
Turn, turn, turn.
I AM getting better. I AM healing. I WILL be fully recovered. I’m just not there yet.
Turn, turn, turn.
In the meantime, Susan and Kelly will be covering the floor and sharing all the yummies with you.
And me? Well, I’ll be watching from the sidelines again, like most of you, which puts me in some pretty gall-durned moxie fab company!
Turn, turn, turn.
We all have seasons such as these from time to time. Some last longer than others, some take lesser or greater tolls. All must be endured. Thanks to all of you who have helped me endure this one.
Floral Thank You Card by Emily Branch, p. 66 of the July/August 2012 issue of Paper Crafts magazine
I am so grateful to have so many amazing friends, and even though I have not even met most of you, I have felt your love and concern all the way from wherever you are, and it has meant the world to me.
Accepting this time to heal,
~Cath
I love your hearing your voice in your posts Cath. I’m so sorry you’re not healing as fast as you’d wished for. Just keep on keeping on lady and keep your Moxie Fab chin up cause we all love you and will continue sending you lots of positive thoughts and love.
Praying that you will find a new season VERY soon! Hang in there, Cath. Love the beautiful pics!
What a beautiful post! Brought tears to my eyes. I will continue to pray that you come into a new season quickly. We’ve missed you so here in the Moxie Fab World. Nice to hear/read you again. Hang in there and know that we out here continue to lift you in prayer.
Yes, turn, turn, turn. To everything–a season–great song, great post, great attitude, my friend. Time to look at things from a different view and perspective. You know it. Life is lived in moments and all that.
And, by the way, I think a message is trying to get through, about CHA and all.
Cath, thanks for the great post. In your writing, you bring inspiration to OUR SOULS. We are thinking of you and keeping you in prayer. Keep smiling.
Oh my goodness Cath, I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. Both my stepdad and stepmother had to have rotator cuff surgery, and from watching them, I can tell that the healing process is very slow and frustrating! I really hope your healing begins to speed up soon, and that in one month, you can look back and see how far you’ve come. I know all of us here in Paper Craft blogland wish you all the best. You are always so sweet and work so hard on MFW. Thanks for all you do and BEST WISHES in healing!
Sending you prayers for healing and a brightening of your spirit. I hope your health improves soon!
What a bittersweet post. Life sure is tough for you at the moment, but as you say it is improving all the time. Ohh girl, there surely will be great celebrations at the next CHA you get to
Sorry your recovery has been such a long road and it’s not over yet. I’m glad to hear what sound like an absolutely great car ride was and yep, definitely need the old rock tunes on a trip like that. As for CHA, you definitely make for some pretty gall-durned moxie fab company too.
Continue to feel better- hopefully you start making some exponential improvements!
tears are flowing from the heart for you from me-I know how slow time passes when healing from surgery and how hard it is to deal with-from complicated back surgery to a broken leg, I too have had my share of not being able to sleep in my bed(was in a hospital bed at home)and that is the worst! my bed is my haven at the end of a day. But trust me when I tell you that you will recover and you will regain your life again. God teaches us things that sometimes we don’t want to learn!
So sorry you aren’t healing quicker and able to go the CHA again.
If your recovery were powered by the well wishes of the paper-crafting community, you’d be able to attend CHA summer.
I hope that you’ll be fully recovered and able to attend the Winter CHA, which will give you a nice break from the cold NH winter!
Hugs and healing vibes wafting northeast from me to you!
I’m sure that CHA will miss you too… in these times, I never have good advice. But my gram’s voice rings in my ears…”this too shall pass.” You seem to know that. Sending you many thoughts of healing!
CHA will surely miss you again Cath. Sending happy thoughts and good wishes your way! Hang in there!
Your words ring so true and I appreciate you for sharing your heart with all of us. I know how difficult it can be in your situation. Wanting to be content in all situations, but longing to be in another…My heart goes out to you and my prayers. Just know in your gut that this too shall pass. We love you Cath!
Thank you for sharing your beautiful day with us! I’m sorry you’ll miss another CHA, but it’s for a very good reason and just think: You’ll be all well for the next one! Continue to heal and keep happy thoughts in mind. Gentle hugs to you.
Cath, how incredibly insightful you are. We all have these times in our life and I’m in one right now not physically but mentally. They re-assigned me at work in a job I didn’t ask for and I am feeling frustrated. But turn, turn, turn. Things will come around and they will for you to. You are in ym thoughts and prayers that your recovery picks up and you are back to doing what you love very soon. Big healing hugs!
Cath, what a thought provoking post. What I find is that when something happens in my life that I don’t understand, at the end, I usually see the reason and the purpose why something didn’t go quite as I had planned. Rotator cuff surgery is a LONG recovery and you need to miss these CHA’s to heal. If you went to the show, you would work too hard and too long and lift things you aren’t supposed to be lifting. Just realize how many of us LOVE you and find great inspiration in your posts. I look forward to my Moxie Fab email every day! MY wish is that I get to meet you live and in person one day! So rest, recover, and keep inspiring us with your Love of Life and all things Moxie Fab!
Hi Cath! Love your red mustang, the beautiful view, and your story. “Turn, turn, turn” is now running in my head. Prayers for healing, patience, and a peaceful inner self. Hoping your recovery comes quicker now and that you’ll be feeling like your normal self real soon! Hugs~
What I hear, Cath, in your letter, is 1. acceptance of the situation, 2. hopefulness for the future, 3. a positive outlook for healing. Expressing your disappointment & frustration can be very healing in itself. There is an old saying “what you resist persists” so now that you have accepted your current “season” as just that – a passing time – it will leave you. I will continue prayers for your healing & throw in a “thank you” for the image of the 1966 Mustang – in college I dated a guy who had a light blue one – still remember riding in it
I highly recommend that you allow your husband to cut your meat, but that you enjoy it & that you continue to go for rides in the Mustang with him – it changes your outlook just to be out there! Good luck & (dare I say?) God Speed! haha
I am so sorry this surgery has not relieved your pain, Cath. This has got to be so frustrating for you. My thoughts, good wishes and prayers are with you.
PS: Thanks for sharing the GREAT photos and blast from the past tune by the Byrds
Cath, continued prayers on your road to recovering from all this. What a beautiful post, and lovely way to express where you are at in dealing with this. Lots of love, and support from all of us out here.
Even during this rough time, your humor comes through. And your honesty and gratitude. You are an inspiration.
What a beautiful post. We are all rooting for your continued recovery and know that you are in good hands. God’s timeline is the best timeline and only he knows why some things are the way they are. You have an amazing and inspiring attitude and I hope that the remainder of your recovery passes in the blink of an eye. Thanks for all you do for us and your continued inspiration!
Will continue to keep you in my thoughts!!! I’m sure saying its a bummer that you are going to miss CHA is an understatement, but hopefully here in the Moxie Fab world we will be able to lift your spirits and keep you busy!!! Thanks for all you do in the crafting world, and just keep turning!
beautiful post, sorry to hear you’re missing the CHA again!
Awww, sorry that you haven’t been healing quickly enough to attend the summer CHA, but I’m glad to hear that you are healing. Praying that you are able to enjoy a full recovery soon.
I wish you were healing faster. I can commiserate it took quite a while for me to get
better after my neck surgery (but it does happen). Hang in there.
What a beautifully written essay. Thanks for sharing that, and all the wonderful photos you post. Here’s to a more rapid recovery.
What a great post! It sounds like it’s been a hard and frustrating process. I hope your recovery continues to go well (and accelerates!).
(((((((((Hugs)))))))))
You’re truly one person I wish I could make it all better for.
Stay strong like you are. You are amazing and we need you!